What are the 5 Love Languages & Why Do They Matter?


a couple hold each other's hands in the background of the sunset

Imagine being in a relationship with someone who speaks a total different language to you and trying to express your undying love to this person without being able to speak their language.  Just like we speak different languages each and every one of us has a love language through which we express and receive love.  

Finding out what your, your partner and even your children’s love languages are can mean ensuring that you can express your love and affection to those that matter most in your life in a manner that is meaningful and in a “language” that everyone understands.

What are the five love languages? 

  • Words of Affirmation – People with words of affirmation as a love language value verbal acknowledgments of affection, including frequent “I love you’s,” compliments, words of appreciation, verbal encouragement, and often frequent digital communication like texting and social media engagements.  Criticism is a big no no for people who feel loved with words of affirmation as a love language.
  • Quality Time – People whose love language is quality time feel the most adored when their partner actively wants to spend time with them and is always down to hang out. They particularly love when active listening, eye contact, and full presence are prioritized hallmarks in the relationship.  Being on your phone or distracted by the television while spending time with someone who speaks this love language is a big no no and can cause them to feel unloved.
  • Acts of Service – If your love language is acts of service, you value when your partner goes out of their way to make your life easier. It’s things like bringing you soup when you’re sick, making your coffee for you in the morning, or picking up your dry cleaning for you when you’ve had a busy day at work.  Promising to take out the trash and then failing to do so can make people these people feel unloved.
  • Gifts – People with this style recognize and value the gift-giving process: it is not about the monetary value for them but about the careful reflection, the deliberate choosing of the object to represent the relationship, and the emotional benefits from receiving the present.  If this is your partner’s love language giving gifts without careful thought and consideration can make them feel unloved.  
  • Physical Touch – People with physical touch as their love language feel loved when they receive physical signs of affection, including kissing, holding hands, cuddling on the couch, and sex. Physical intimacy and touch can be incredibly affirming and serve as a powerful emotional connector for people with this love language. Withholding affection can be a big button for people who value this language of love.

If you would like to know more about your or those you care about’s love languages you can do so by taking the free love language quiz by clicking on the link below:

Love Language Quiz

Speak the language of love that matters to those who matter to you.